I Call My Guardian Angel Delilah

I sometimes think that I am really wearing out my guardian angel. All the other angels are floating, singing, and keeping half an eye on their charges. Mine is the one charging around, dripping sweat, and cutting deals with other angels to keep me in one piece. (Which I so appreciate, by the way, Delilah)

Last week was a toughie. ( I wish that I could insert music notes in here and fake sing the "iiiits a tough-ie" television jingle at this point, but I am not tech savvy enough to pull that off.) I mentioned that Brad was on my shit list last week one day - and now he has climbed to the top of the list, picked up all the other candidates and thrown them off the list. He wants the list all to himself apparently. One of the cons of being in touch with an ex is that they really, really know how to push your buttons. Thus why I should remove my buttons from his reach really. Again, lesson learning the hard way....

So, after my buttons were pushed I proceeded to follow standard operating procedure and make a few bad choices. We don't really need to get into those exact choices, I am all about not embarrassing myself further than I already have to this point. Although I will say that pizza really doesn't qualify as a bad choice if you take it ingredient by ingredient. Just saying. And I do wish that over indulging in pepperoni was the worst of my bad choices. Unfortunately.....no. However, let's not dwell on my idiotic moments. I already paid my price for my mild debauchery. (It was roughly eighty bucks and about two hours of time that, sadly, I can never get back.) After a suitable wallowing period, I am moving on...

And here is my moving on song. I have a hard time forgiving myself for my mistakes - which would probably surprise my exes since I do tend to always think I am right. This song is by a Christian group called Point of Grace called 'Heal the Wound'. It just reminds me that we are all only human. We all make our own mistakes, learn our own lessons, and then build on them to become the person we are meant to be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy7I5gMEKEQ

.....hmmm, I tried to embed this but, as previously mentioned, tech savvy I am not. You will just have to old-fashioned cut and paste - enjoy!




I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar