Leg Rebellion

My legs are not happy that I am dating Chet. They used to be comfortable, only had to get pretty and silky once or twice a week - simply maintenance to keep my card in the girls club. No one was looking too hard for missed hairs or playing with my ankles and finding stubble. I would get lazy and let them slide on weekly exfoliation treatments, sometimes even letting them go weeks without a trace of sea salt or sugar. I would only drown them in lotion if it got really, really cold out and it became a worry that I might lose an entire layer of skin if I didn't medically intercede with shea butter.

Now they are expected to perform at their very best daily. No more showers just for soaping up and enjoying the hot water. Back to work.....lather, salt scrub, rinse, lather, shave, rinse......sometimes if I am neurotic I even make them reshave again just to be sure nothing escaped notice. Drowning in lotion is a daily activity. My top skin cells are very thankful and eager to be pretty, but the ones underneath are pissed off that I am not letting those top dwellers just die off so they can finally see the light of day.

And it is not only my legs. My make-up box is pissed when I wake it up every day, routinely spitting face powder at me. My curling iron had practically gone into hibernation, and somehow doesn't even fit my hand the same way anymore. My nail polish got so aggravated that it turned brittle and killed itself so I had to buy all new bottles - making me feel like the worst sort of betrayer as I gave them all a Hefty funeral. All of my bathroom cupboard bottles and jars are in an uproar that they are being worked so hard after being able to pleasantly collect a slight layer of dust while they mingled and drank the mouthwash, gossiping about Susie's bathroom bottles. The only thing breathing a sigh of relief is my collection of pony tail bands that finally get rest after performing day after day in mute exhaustion. Brave little soldiers.

Now, I am really not complaining about having to remember how my skin/body/face/hair regime works. After months of having most of my touches be from drool-covered baby fingers, it is nice to have a reason to exfoliate on a regular basis for someone that doesn't just want to gum on my collarbone. (usually) I even like that I look like a girl day in and day out consistently. I just don't remember it being this much work.